New Spot

I really love this little blog. But I had to move to a different format, so if you stumble upon this and dig what you read, please head over to

www.saschamatuszak.com

that site might not look as dark and COOL as htis one, but the potential is greater with Wordpress I believe. And i got Pages, so thats awesome.

Love any who read this ;)

Sascha

Oh Lord lets figure it out ....

The love I made this afternoon is thanks to the following:

Ain't got no Game

Sascha ain't got no game.

Today is a beautiful day. the tree in my backyard is drooping leaves down into my face and the sun pours threw them because they're young yet and let the light through like its natural. when the sun is out like this, the fish kick it near the surface of my pond and just huddle there, bathing, treading light.

the bullfrog tadpoles are getting sluggish and the transformation is nearing completion so they just lie half-lidded near the muddy banks of the pond dully aware of their legs protruding where yesterday skin was smooth.

Little Man is hitting up the milk fiercely because I guess a growth spurt happens at least once a month. its hard to tell really, because each week is different. This week he has been taking cat naps and sucking down milk, using his hands to try and grab stuff but missing and kicking the blankets off and laughing at anything i say or do.

Lao Ba is back in the crib and dropping fist sized dollops of pig fat into the spinach and tofu soup. He loves that pig fat. Just finished lunch and the birds are hovering around my back door, peeping in to see whats happening.

DofuPi the Puppy is comfortable with his surroundings finally and is off in the chicken coop messing with the hens. They pretend to be angry and flustered but i know those hussies love it.

I'm here rooting for the Sabres and the Celtics, reading Robert Jordan's last Wheel of Time book (fuck you, Robert) and trying to see through the illusion.

They're catching on ...

In this NYT story, the benfit of mushrooms is being researched by scientists and medical practitioners, one of which called it, "existential medicine."

Whatcha Learn

You know my family always used to make fun of my dad cuz he had like one or two homies. and even those guys he saw once or twice every 1-2 years. He was basically dad and thats pretty much it. All my life I had shitloads of friends. A million people knew my name and I knew probably the names of say 1/10 of em but they were still my friends. I would defend my deep friendship for them despite my pops saying things like: those guys aint yer friends.

You know, how much of that was just to spite pops? Now here I am, a pops, pretending like I am all mature all of a sudden and the weird thing is pretending is starting to imitate life and as the two threads converge from the distant points they started at i find a woven knot of bullshit and real shit makes up my life.

I was telling a cat the other day that his essays would be clean and smooth and nice to read if he just cut out the fat.

Lotsa fat people in my life. Lotsa toned steel-armed people too. I find myself shutting up a lot more. Unless of course I be doing a podcast for Chengdu Living and my colleagues ain't got shit to say. I have to pick up the slack so we don't sound like teenagers messing with their first microphone. That one goes out to Charles and Eli.

Feel me? I turn on my little hose in the morning so the water drips like a floating waterfall into my growing-less-stagnant pond. Thats a big deal for me. All morning I have been trying to figure out the best way to smash up corn for the chickens -- I don't have a proper mill. only concrete floors and a brick. so the corn goes flying, I have to sweep it up and give it to the chickens. Sloppy.

Advantage is, the sparrows swoop in and dive bomb my courtyard for kernels that i missed.

I played the sit-up game with dorian and we laughed our asses off. Lotsa fat in my life but he ain't it.

I still greet "friends" i aint seen in a while with hearty slaps on the back because I still believe in friendship as the source of all goodness. But back when my dad was trying to tell me about who it was I was hanging out with, I would run out the house and seek out the fat in the world and chew on it and wonder why it made my tummy hurt. Thats whats changed.

Dream within a dream

Last night for the first time that I can remember, someone asked me what I was dreaming about in my dream. I was so taken aback that I answered Battlestar Galactica at first ... for some reason i felt it was more appropriate to lie to the two men and two women at the baordroom table asking innocently about my dream. but then i did tell them, eventually, about dreaming of being a high school teacher in a Chinese school and coming late to school and not being able to find my classroom.

That part, not being able to find anything and being late for school and missing homework and failing is actually pretty standard for my dreams. I have an anxiety ridden dream every so often.

so thats not the important part. the important part is someone asked me a question in my dream that felt out of my consciousness. No matter how i answered, the deal is it felt like someone else entering my dream and talking to me. I have had a few of these and each time i remember it clearly, but the dream itself and the dreamscape is so slippery that any thought whatsoever derails any cool conversation I might have had.

As in the one last night, instead of talking with the dudes, I banished them both and took both women in a sexually taut threesome. Sigh. If i could get my mind offa sex for a second or three, I might learn something.

Today's Smiles

This is becoming a baby only blog now ... i don't really want that ... but for now its all i have to show ya'll ...