Thursday, June 19, 2008

it just keeps gettin thicker

ya'll don't even know.

I went to Hanyuan the other day and just got back in the Du. I was planning on staying a month there, but things didn't work out that way. On the way to Hanyuan I got a call from my man Philly in Beijing and he said:

"yo, that security job you wanted for the Olympics? well its on. Git yer ass to Shanghai with a suit on for an interview pronto."

I hung up and looked at Fraggle Beanmilk -- my companion and right hand fraggle -- and was about to say somethin, when the phone rang again:

"Herro! Is thees Ma Shan? We have big job fo U."

Now i get to write 15 stories about Chengdu over the next five weeks. Word is bond. So i will be on the road, protecting the torch with my Master Li Cuan (Philly gave him a job a month ago) and writing stories about the Du all the way up till the O-limp-iks. I was about to let Fraggle Beanmilk in on this, when the phone rang again. (i ain't playin):

"Herro! Is thees Ma Shan? We have big job for U."

Now they want me to write a BOOK on the Du -- tentatively titled: Laowais See Chengdu! Now I will probably change the title and all ...

And this all happened on the road to Hanyuan, where I am researching for a book on (secret shit can't let ya'll know).

So i finally get to Hanyuan, and here's what's goin on:

"Wang Tao's in the livin room, eatin cherry pie
Gramma Gongfu's in the kitchen pluckin chicken up to fry
Shiye's in the courtyard beatin up some budding hoz
I'm out front with Beanmilk feelin good down to my toes ...

Justa swingin ... Swingin ..."

(name that tune, and i'll buy you a scepter)

So you know. things is gettin deeper. My man Big Tenz thinks that a broad conflict is about to go down between China and the rest of the world, cuz China is playin hell with anyone who wants to come in/stay by being real pricks about the visa. Plus, of course all this recent nationalism and such ... and we can't neglect the various disasters and heavenly portents that spell doom for us all in 08.

Seems like i'll be in the thick of it. wish me evasive tactics.

When I get to a safe spot with herbs and coffee, I'll give you the low down on Hanyuan.

5 comments:

Kaydee said...

may you have evasive tactics!

Anonymous said...

Sesame old cow.

almerindo said...

my MAN. keep on layin low, you F-visa-havin fool...

Andrew said...

gin and mutha fuckin juice...

sascha matuszak said...

indeed.

I be sippin my gin and muthafuckin juice while evading PSB officials and falling rocks, waving my F-visa at the old cows chasing kids down sesame street ...