Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Du

MM-MM something about the Du makes me feel all homey. its easy as pie out here. the sky looks like dishwater and i aint seen the sun yet but instead i got down on some Pickled Pepper Beef and some of the tastiest gong pao chick en this fool has ever scarfed down. Got with my man rippey and smoked two and then geeked out with charlie talkin bout Warcraft.

Did you know that the world video game olympiad will be held in Chengdu this november?

Bookmark and Share

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Chinese girls are silly

My man told me earlier i the week that he would never marry a Chinese girl, even though he has been here for several years and chases them down like the bunnies they are.

I remember thinking the same thing for a while, but it only hit home when .. i went home (or Portland). After chilling with american girls, i realized that here in China we purposely slim our brains down, chop our personalities in half and become lesser men in the pursuit of sex. its like going back to high school with these girls. I guess i always knew that, but it never seemed so blatant and front and center.

It also has a lot to do with who I am hanging out with. My man Zhuang once told me that all of the good girls (good being intelligent, charismatic, ambitious, cool, etc) would never date a foreigner.

So i see a vicious cycle here and if you enjoy lotsa random sex with no commitments, then china is heaven. but i have been infected by the brains of Lacey and Mika and Nico and Susan and so on and now i can't have this. I get really fed up with the bullshit these chinese girls (well my man's girls here in Shanghai) try to pull.

I find it moronic and repulsive. And i am most angry not at what they do, but at what I made myself do and become while I was here. Its a sick mindset. Beanmilk helped me turn the tide of shallowness while i was in the Du. I suppose we met because it was her job to prepare me for the Return to the US and my job to help her defend herself against the silly behavior of SOME Chinese girls.

But its not the girls, like i said, that make the cycle. Its the combination of silly, but innocent and hopeful young girls & opportunistic and jaded hopeful young men.

Heartbreak is rampant.

I have a reputation to uphold, but I think i'll be doing it with my words rather than my penis.

Bookmark and Share


I miss the quiet of my dungeon and the wind through Oregon's trees. Its sunny here and i am about to be in the Du with all my friends again and its gonna be hard to leave. I am trying to stay for one month but i can feel the pull of oblivion on the road. Its going to be hard not to just disappear again. but i won't. don't worry nico ...

i love shanghai, the city usually treats me very well, but i am reminded every time I come here why i could never live here. my best times here are either drunken madness or yapping with old shanghainese ... i love making old people laugh here. they don't really get my Sichuan hua ... and the cabbies aren't pimps like in the Du ... so many damn buildings.

I am reading Wendell Berry's book, Sex, Economy, Community and Freedom. i highly recommend this book. It is right up our US alley (me and the Tribe) and it informs my summer project that I am doing with ole Lace-dawg.

Go out and get it. (mad love to Jen for the hook-up)

Bookmark and Share

Monday, April 27, 2009

Back in China

Shanghai is a sea of skyscrapers as far as my eye can see. There are pockets of two-story blocks of old school homes with laundry hanging from lines strung between houses. The glow of the sun is like that of a streetlamp through fog. When i see the orange orb in the sky it looks as if its shining through the aftermath of the apocalypse.

Two or three days chillin with Ferchak, Mario and Amir then I am off to the Dirty Du, my third home.

Bookmark and Share

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Vision of a Man

I wish i had a better keyboard cuz there is something i need to work out and for me keyboards are ... key.

I notice a lot of bad ass women out there. women who have been in the trenches of love in their twenties, been hurt, been disregarded, been underestimated. In response, i find a lot of women taking their lives out of the hands of "their men" and going it alone. How many women resign themselves to raising a child alone?

its become almost acceptable to have baby-mamas all over the place with absent fathers. There is nothing good about this. I saw a quote from Mother Teresa, concerning abortion, that applies here i think:

"It is a sin that a child must die in order for you to live as you please."

I am not thinking about abortion and death in literal terms, but an absent father and therefore the absence of a vision of manhood for legions of kids. This is the death of something.

I made mistakes as a kid and i wish i knew then what i know now. All i can say is that i have learned and if i ever father a child that woman will be my wife. Got no choice.

I am going to have to come back to this topic later in the day.


I am in the Bay chillin with my boy 10z, the weather is magnificent and I am headed to China in three days to buy tea and chill with my China peoples.

Bookmark and Share

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter ya'll

Thanks to all my peeps who commented on that digital vagabond proposal.

Here is a piece I wrote about the Mexican War on Drugs about a month ago. Never got published, so I figure I'll drop it right here:

Crystal meth used to be a homegrown, domestically manufactured good ole American drug until the War on Drugs shut it all down and sent the business packing. Now 80% of the meth in the US comes from organized, ruthless Mexican cartels. Meth, one of the nastiest drugs out there, is a globalized product just like any other these days and it is part of the scourge of drug-related violence and corruption that is bringing the Mexican government to its knees.

For years the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) ran Mexico and worked together with Colombian cocaine manufacturers and Mexican smuggler to make a killing off of the American addict and “recreationary user”. The PRI and the Colombians lost power in the 1990s and a collection of Mexican cartels has arisen to take their place and deal with the government of the day, President Felipe Calderon’s muscular pro-American administration. Calderon took office in January of 2007 and vowed to root out and destroy the cartels and the corrupt police and government officials that help them rule entire provinces.

His efforts – the mobilization of more than 25,000 Federal troops – has led to thousands of deaths, wars between rival cartels over shrinking territory, attacks on police officials and civilians and widespread intimidation, kidnapping and extortion as the crime bosses fight to maintain control over their billion dollar empires.

The cartels export marijuana, heroine and cocaine as well as meth. They have also branched out into an array of cover industries including shipping, finance and people smuggling. Another lucrative business that helps to fuel the violence is the cross-border trade in guns and ammunition. US authorities estimate that 90% of the weapons confiscated from drug cartels originate in the US. More than 2000 legal gun dealerships have set up shop in the border states of California, Arizona and Texas to take supply the demand.

A vast web of cash, drugs and weapons is strangling Mexico’s economy and making fools out of its leaders even as the current economic crisis forces immigrants (legal and otherwise) to re-consider making a run to the US. General labor jobs, especially in the construction sector, are dwindling and Mexicans who normally rely on the US to pay the bills are looking elsewhere. Some of them become mules for the cartels and others take up jobs as “straw buyers” of weapons and equipment in the US for the cartels to use in their wars against each other and the government.

The situation is exacerbated by brazen corruption in Mexico and not-so-brazen corruption in the US. US Border Patrol agents have been indicted on smuggling and protection charges for the cartels and thousands of Mexican police officers and soldiers defect each year to the cartels. The drug kingpins pay better and the chances of getting killed by police are much lower than getting popped by drug militias like Los Zetas, the armed wing of the Gulf Cartel made up largely of ex-special forces personnel.

Mexico has endured almost 10,000 confirmed drug-related deaths since December 2006 including at least 500 government officials and prosecutors. The crisis is at the center of debates over who should lead the nation come lections later this year. The PRI is advocating a mixed bag of solutions that aim to rub out the problem at its source: demand. Calderon hopes to receive the mandate of the people to continue his war on the cartels and kill them by focusing on supply networks.

Calderon has extradited several big time capos to the US for trial – most notably Gulf Cartel boss Oziel Cardenas – but the arrests have only led to more intense conflict as lower echelon bosses fight for the top spot and targeted cartels, like the shattered Tijuana cartel, make alliances with former enemies and fight up and coming cartels just to stay alive. Calderon also purged almost 300 police and government officials in 2007. His replacement have fared no better. Some are dead, others have gone corrupt and the few remaining find themselves hamstrung by depleted and/or fearful manpower, public mistrust and ruthless well-armed cartels. It’s a bad situation.

Drug cartels control at least seven of Mexico’s 31 states and they routinely reach into the US, neighboring Central American states like Guatemala and as far south as Colombia and Peru. There is also a proven link between the Italian Mafia and the Mexican cartels. US authorities believe they are dealing with one of the most powerful drug organizations ever.

The true power behind the cartels is, of course, American demand. The Government Accountability Office and the National Drug Intelligence Center have estimated that Mexico's cartels earn upwards of $23 billion in illicit drug proceeds from the United States. In response to Mexican pressure and insistence that this is a “shared problem,” the US Congress devised the Merida Initiative, which proved $1.6billion in technical advice and equipment to Mexico and Guatemala to help fight the War on Drugs. A huge chunk of the money will actually stay in the US and goes into the hands of US defense contractors providing the equipment and training. No cash or weapons will actually flow from the US government into the hands of the Mexican or Guatemalan authorities. The Initiative also makes Mexico accountable for human rights abuses by police, judges and military personnel during the execution of the War on Drugs.

In defiance of a Rand study published during the Clinton years that advocated more money for abusers and less for soldiers, not one cent of the money goes to prevention or treatment of drug abuse in the US.

The rise of the Mexican cartels is just the next phase of the War that began with Panama and Colombia, reverberated through the streets of all major American cities and is now killing Mexico and reaching into small town USA. The needs of the sick and/or bored American leads to deaths across the Americas as vicious groups of businessmen try to fill that need. A possible solution, touted by groups in the US as well as Mexico, is legalization of some drugs and localization of their production.

Americans could also consider leaving the powders alone and sticking to home-grown marijuana and mushrooms. Responsibility for the waves of bloody conflict that have paralyzed the Americas and enriched corrupt politicians and law enforcement officials and destroyed poor (and not so poor) communities lies with us as much as it does with US Border Control and Mexican Federales. Kick coke and meth to the curb and smoke a local pipeful. It will be the least you can do and you might save a life or three.

Bookmark and Share

Saturday, April 11, 2009


So let me try and explain whats going on here:

My main woman Nicole went through several years of servitude and now, finally, the work she has wanted all her life has fallen like manna from the sky. She wants to be a freelance journalist on the move and that's what is happening to her. I saw what she was like as a slave, what it was like when those bastards let her go and her frantic weeks looking for a master to replace Fox News. Finally, she gave up and let Fate do what it will. And then manna began to fall.

So this inspired me. Because I am happiest on the road.

BUT, i am also aware that me and my Tribe are trying to build something and me traipsing off into the dusk might not help. I might not pull my share if i do take off for the summer writing about small town America ...

The tea business is more complicated then I imagined and I am coming up against both wisdom and obstacles. I am learning a lot. Basically it looks as if this type of thing cannot be rushed and my impatience to have a tea house by this summer might end up hurting me. My pops and a few other wise men cautioned me to write. Make some cash. Spend a year in the US. And work long and hard on a business plan. Then see if the tea house is what it is. This is wisdom.

I want them both ya'll. I want to write books AND have a tea house. And i am stuck in a limbo of waiting for one to facilitate the other.

So what i do is this: i apply for a scholarship (see Post below) and attend a seminar on Quickbooks and basic accounting principles. I pursue both and let Fate do what it will.

The pen is probably what I do best and the irony might be that me running off to write will be the greatest contribution I could ever give my Tribe. Cuz this is what drives me more than anything. Even if you can't see it, that's what motivates me to get up and do what i do. cuz i feel a duty to do so. If i didn't have tribe i'd probably be in a field staring at the sun waiting to get old.

So if it seems like madness dont worry, its just the madness of my method.

Bookmark and Share

Friday, April 10, 2009


You know i don't ask much of you all, but i need anyone who peeps this blog to go here:

Chachie's Proposal!

read my proposal and drop yer words on it.

Mad love.

Bookmark and Share

If Babylon falls in my lifetime

Nicole be twitterin with Questlove these days cuz he is in P-town freezin his ass off ... i mean it aint that cold up here but for him ... used to the sun and all ...

Is the Apocalypse nigh? I met a dude in Eugene who saw 7 of the 13? crystal skulls and he and his believe deeply in the beam of light that will strike the earth in December 2012 and carry some of us away, leaving others to fend for themselves in a soulless apparition world wailing under the yoke of being "not good enough to ascend."

I feel a constricting going on. Like we're being squeezed together by galactic arms. Twitter and Facebook are the farts emitted when we get pressed nose to nose ... so if the Apocalypse is nigh, is it proceeded by a consolidation of the human race down to a single? point in space/time so when the beam hits, everyone knows, from those guys who ran from the tsunami on the Andaman Islands to a yak jerky chompin nomad to a been drunk old Russian stumblin outta his pub to a fat German woman gettin her hair cut shorter than usual to a French waif-princess with delicate features and a penchant for wild romances with the wrong man ... to Spanish Fascists sipping wine in plazas down to Moroccan sages sipping mint tea and puffin shisha in the afternoon shade through the core life force blackness of Africa where our collective heart thumps.

I don't know what will happen when the beam penetrates the broad leaves of the Congo jungle and hits a walking soul between his eyes.

I'd like to be on Twitter with that fool so when it goes down maybe he can squeeze out a few lines to warn the rest of us here in the New World about what the answers to the test might be ... noone wants to be the fool held back while his crew keeps on to the next grade. The kid who failed is forgotten unless children needs be warned bout what not to do. Then that guy gets pulled out like a Brother's Grimm tale of woe.

I am mentally ready, but my soul ... although not dogshit ... aint ready to be with God. I have been close enough reaching my fingers through the sheeting that protects my unsound mind from the realm of God and I stood right there at the precipice of the whirlpool whose galactic arms are squeezing, twisting, melting and coming for us all. I stood there and pulled my self away like waking from a bad dream ... it oozed away from me and i got it on my mind as I plot on shady deals and tea houses.

What if my family aint my Tribe and I have to walk away from them when the beam hits? Is that possible?

What if my Tribe aint my family and they have to walk away from me when the beam hits?

And if the beam does not hit. then the decision we have collectively -- and i mean my Tribe here -- made will have to sustain us. I mean, wouldn't it be too much for this generation of humanity to WILL instant gratification upon the entire planet via a beam of light prophesied by crystal skulls? It just sounds like something we would want to have happen because the alternative:

struggling through Babylon and building a temple of light from out the muck

just aint quick enough.

I come to the same conclusions daily. If Babylon falls within my lifetime, I am holding hands with everyone I won't walk away from anyone. And i'll do the same if it don't. If you know me on a personal basis, test these words daily.

I gotta go and hustle in the shade and build a house for my teas. Holla at me when the beam hits.

Bookmark and Share

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

the Cali sun

is hard to locate not because the clouds are there, but because they're absent.

I haven't seen a sky like this one in I don't even know when. Ate a power breakfast of Inca berries, Goji berries, chicken broth infused brown rice, pineapples and bananas and a huge dollop of yogurt.

Did Big Scott's pushup exercise and found a new appreciation for the toad.

Bookmark and Share

I know why women trip


Its motherhood ya'll. Before being a mother, girls trip on the intense biological forces that take over all thought and emotion and drive girls to be moms, or at the very least create the conditions under which momhood can best be realized (house, man, dog, fence). Fellaz: consider the intense drive we have to chase down all women and impregnate them and then run off skipping into the woods. We're just built that way right? So.

Have you ever seen a mom at the grocery store, airport, coffee house on the damn bus? Dude. Being a mother drives women insane. How many times has yer mom stayed up all night waiting for you? How many times does she call and be like: You're dead aren't you? (Thanks Anna) Ya know. Moms freak the fuck out several times daily AND cook, clean, do the laundry, deal with pops, make appointments, drive here and there and and and ... insanity is the only logical result.

Then. Oh Lord then then then just as the kids are all gone and pops starts getting fat and can't get it up anymore, motherhood leaves forever. Just like that. The angel/demon on the back of all women is gone forever and leaves ... (i need more work in the lab to know what exactly is left behind) but I do know that cougars and rose tea and flower arrangements and a Cause are the stars revolving around the black hole ever closer ever faster around the hole left behind by motherhood.

Bookmark and Share