me and the devil sluggin it out

so yo, I have been dwelling daily on a tea business. I started out thinking that I was going to get a van, pimp it out Thai style and then roll around Portland dishin out love. It doesn't work like that for a variety of reasons. So then I looked at my plans and numbers and realized that my ORIGINAL idea, which was to open a shop and have a van that I could cruise around in when the opportunity presents itself, was a much wiser course of action.

So then I looked at what it would take to get a retail shop going. All of the permits, regulations and Food Handler Card tests that I found necessary for a van, also apply to a retail spot.

And also a retail requires a much more substantial investment of capital. I got rent, re-modeling, health inspections, a kitchen, inventory, tables and chairs, etc. So this began to daunt me. I started wondering: Oh Lord, what if this idea is too much for me to handle and I can't get any of this done. I am just running after a shadow dream that sounds great to the people that don't have to invest, but for me and mine, the ones who have to shoulder rent and such, its a pit that might just break me and send me running for the hills again.

So I slugged it out with the devil all weekend. He said, fool, you can't do this. My spirit rebelled and we went toe to toe. This morning, we sat down over a plate of one-eyed jacks and a cup of jasmine tea and talked it over.

he was like: sasch, my man, I don't really mean you any harm. I am just the harm within.
I was like: I feel you, devil, in more ways than colloquial speech.

And we agreed that he ain't going anywhere and I ain't either. Ain't nothing easy. he was silent while a sang a little ditty to myself, then I went down to the Space Monkey and sold two ounces of Buddha Palm Honey Dew Green tea and my peeps were like:

We are down with Buddha Palm. It helps us get through.

And that's pretty much all I needed to hear. I have a duty to do this tea thing. Just like I have a duty to write and holler at my friends and smile at pretty girls. Its just one of those things.