Yunnan Trip

So i finally got my camera battery from the Bad Monkey. I left it there on the last day of me and Bean's trip to Yunnan, so I haven't been able to access my pics since then. So here are some pics and descriptions of the trip we took 12/27 to 1/2 ...


This is my friend Huang Jun, a Kunming native, and his lady Thearanee, from Thailand. They came up from Thailand to celebrate his father's 60th birthday and before the festivities we had some local 挂桥面 Cross the Bridge Noodles.


Story goes, a loving wife brought her man noodles on the daily. He worked a little bit away from home, and she had to cross a bridge to get there. When she showed up, the noodles were always cold. This angered them both. He didn't say anything, being a good man and all, but she wasn't about to have her man eating cold noodles. So she thought about it and came up with a plan: she would cut up all the ingredients and put them in the bowl and bring a pot of boiling hot water along with her. So when she got to his place of work, she placed the bowl in front of him, poured in the hot water and mixed it up. Worked just fine.

That night, they made passionate love.










Me and Bean went to the 翠湖 Cuihu Lake in the middle of Kunming and walked around it three times. Siberian black-headed gulls migrate through here every winter and everybody loves it. The gulls eat good, the kids squeal in the winter sun and i get to take pics with my lady.

I got a bit more, put them up in a day or two.

me and sammy at the speakeasy last night

We are having our customary American Coffees at Salvador's this morning. Sal's is one of the finer cafes i have ever experienced in China. The food is great, the prices are low, the place is owned by a few gringos from kansas and colorado and run by an army of western yunnan munchkins, under the close supervision of Ping Di -- King Diesel -- a four foot little yunnan girl with a squeaky voice and absolute authority.

It is time for us to go. we are headed to Dali in the afternoon where we will meet with the owners of the Bad Monkey and other assorted devils and thieves. Before i forget, let me give you a rundown of Sammy's "disappearance" which began with whiskey and tramidol, continued into the halfway house and raged out into the streets in front of the speakeasy. The rest is legend.

"The Disappearance" according to Sammy:

"Super Cool in Kunming. This guest's opinion is what the fuck. not sure what happened last night. Thought we were supposed to get drunk. I did then got "lost" but i met a nice woman who helped me find my way here and upon arriving got cockblocked by the night reception whore who scared her away and then wouldn't let me into our vacant fuckin room because i'm not fuckin michael even though i told the cunt that i paid for the bullshit. So i had to rent 103 or sleep in the street which i tried but it sucked. i dont speak chinese."

I woke up in the morning and saw that sammy had disappeard. I spent the day wandering the streets around our hotel and chillin at Sals thinking he could find his way back. I eventually headed back to our hotel and was gonna take a shower when i found the above note stuck under the door of our room, 304. i ran down and knocked on 103, sammy jumped out, we embraced and it was all good. turns out i was in a drunken coma whilst he was banging on the door at 2am with a sceptical receptionist in tow. its not my fault.

Yesterday we spent lunch with Mr. Huang. He is my friend Huang Jun's father. Huang Jun is one of my oldest and best homeboys here in China. Recently, i introduced him to a sweet little Thai girl who was coming up to kunming to study. they fell in love and now Huizzle is down in bangkok with her. He is our man in Bangkok. Me and Sammy told stories of northern Minnesota and we all toasted to Huizzle. Mr Huang pulled out a doctoral thesis he wrote for his son, because his son has no time to do it as work is getting him down. I said Huizzle was a punk for allowing his father to write up this thesis, but i was deeply touched. His mother then asked if Sammy could carry a couple bags of love to Bangkok with him and give them to Huiz ... of course Sammy said yes.

i had a dream that i got off the subway in NYC and a chubby black man was telling me about the judo he was studying -- i didn't believe him right away, but he pulled some moves and told a story of thugs trying to take his shit and when he pulled those moves they backed off, made a phone call for reinforcements. They told their homies on the phone:

"Man, we gotta a Cain muthafucka all up in here, all like My Way is Your Darkest Fear ... "

I woke up then because i knew I should remember that line.

grumble grumble

well i have tried to put pics up here for days now. i went through picasa and checked out what the deal is -- heard that sideways pics is a problem that many of us have. but picasa won't load the damn pics up so i am just gonna have text now.

i am in kunming and every time i come here i wonder why i am living in chengdu. as soon as you hit the tarmac the sun hits you, an easy breeze says, "hey, welcome man" and the temperature adjusts to your liking.

there are many more foreigners here than i realized and they seem cooler. chiller. more literate. and i am at a cafe that would fit in anywhere on the west coast, with honey mustard salads, digestive teas, cute lil chinese girls and will and lester -- two local english teachers discussing the weighty issues in life and takin it real real easy.

sammy shows up in two days and we will hit up the An Ling hot springs, deep in the forests, then we'll have some stewed sweet broasted chicken. its gonna be hot.