me and the devil sluggin it out

so yo, I have been dwelling daily on a tea business. I started out thinking that I was going to get a van, pimp it out Thai style and then roll around Portland dishin out love. It doesn't work like that for a variety of reasons. So then I looked at my plans and numbers and realized that my ORIGINAL idea, which was to open a shop and have a van that I could cruise around in when the opportunity presents itself, was a much wiser course of action.

So then I looked at what it would take to get a retail shop going. All of the permits, regulations and Food Handler Card tests that I found necessary for a van, also apply to a retail spot.

And also a retail requires a much more substantial investment of capital. I got rent, re-modeling, health inspections, a kitchen, inventory, tables and chairs, etc. So this began to daunt me. I started wondering: Oh Lord, what if this idea is too much for me to handle and I can't get any of this done. I am just running after a shadow dream that sounds great to the people that don't have to invest, but for me and mine, the ones who have to shoulder rent and such, its a pit that might just break me and send me running for the hills again.

So I slugged it out with the devil all weekend. He said, fool, you can't do this. My spirit rebelled and we went toe to toe. This morning, we sat down over a plate of one-eyed jacks and a cup of jasmine tea and talked it over.

he was like: sasch, my man, I don't really mean you any harm. I am just the harm within.
I was like: I feel you, devil, in more ways than colloquial speech.

And we agreed that he ain't going anywhere and I ain't either. Ain't nothing easy. he was silent while a sang a little ditty to myself, then I went down to the Space Monkey and sold two ounces of Buddha Palm Honey Dew Green tea and my peeps were like:

We are down with Buddha Palm. It helps us get through.

And that's pretty much all I needed to hear. I have a duty to do this tea thing. Just like I have a duty to write and holler at my friends and smile at pretty girls. Its just one of those things.

whats goin down

this is what i'm reading and i am thankful for a bucket of blessed mobility.

because this is why i aint been writing on here recently.

Buddha Palm Teas ya'll.

The Last Transport is Away

Saw my man Doc Possible and his girlie Therin off to the Amtrak today. Doc is headed to illi-noise to re-tool and rest before embarking on a long and drawn out trip to take over the planet via gem dealing. We stopped by the China Garden in downtown Portland and head some Tie Guanyin oolong tea amidst the Japanese maples, magnolias, holly and of course the magnificent 100+ year old Osmanthus tree at the very entrance of the garden.

Life resumes, now that my tribe has dispersed again.

And life here is great in Portland. I love this society no matter what. But sometimes I hear something or read something or see something that just sets me off.

I was thinking today as I sat in Powells about the true impact of the "Greatest Gneration" of our grandfathers and grandmothers. And this is what I have come to:

WE all have the hero that stormed the beaches inside of us, but the Baby Boomers have discarded that hero and sold out. Now they revere Granpa who was a WWII hero and hate on us, the grandkid who rebels. When the true criminal in all of this is the 40 - 60 year old who is just now realizing that all his life he stomped on his world and blamed his kids for "not getting it." and only now is he figuring out that I have more in common with a WWII vet than he ever will. I have no more sympathy for the ignorant who claim that dreamers and hippies and antiwar activists and such are "anti establishment radicals who would never fit into a corporate world" and therefore of little regard to the "world at large." Where were these fools when MLK died? When Kennedy was shot? When NIxon was elected? When the war dragged on? They hid and sold while the hippies and Panthers were incarcerated and now they hate on us as we struggle hard against the coward they want us to be ... fuck them.

any man who believes that the established corporate world at large is the reality Man has been aspiring to is deeply scarred in some way that I have no more patience to even try and comprehend. I am sick of you people. Like Genghis I feel its time you were all rooted out, made to stand before your creations and held accountable. Quit hiding in your homes, behind your jobs, inside your cars and take responsibility for the shit I and my kids will have to deal with. How stupid do you have to be to destroy your planet in the name of quick and fleeting monetary profit and then turn to the kids trying to stop you and imprison them? I suppose the righteous have to believe in God because there is no solace for the rational benevolent man on Earth. Such men end up on the trash heap of society -- either in jail, on the streets or hiding out in the woods -- praying that he'll die a happy man before "they" come to get him and throw him back to the wolves. And I am preaching to the choir. If anyone even reads this to the end they are my friends and if they don't they'll "bounce" and shake their heads at just another pissed off half-rebel typing away on a busted Mac. Cliche, says the disinterested reader. Touche, says the bored soapbox pundit.

What made me think of all of this was a report from Brooklyn in which a man was sodomized by a cop for smoking a joint on the street.

A society that would even consider the justice of such an action is fatally sick. To beat the horse: How could you possibly rationalize the criminalization of marijuana unless you are so goddamn stupid and sheltered and disregarding of any and all facts?

When was the last time a man who was high beat his wife, died of cirrhosis, drove into a family of four, started a bar brawl or some other stupid drunken act?

When was the last time someone died of lung cancer, emphysema or some other long drawn out disease because he got high too much?

This is a small microcosm of our society that speaks volumes about the overall philosophy. When Blackwater mercenaries burn down weed fields and leave tobacco growing you know the world is all out of wack. I am sick of the hypocrisy and accusing tone of the "pillars of society" whose crimes make me vomit so bad i need to head to the local marijuana dispensary to get a repreive from the nausea ...

i am so sick of the bullshit. I see a face in my mind as I rant, its a fat pink face framed by glasses with a flattop haircut and Dick Cheney grin. I am infected by him and everywhere i go -- SE Asia, Africa, China, Tibet, S. America -- i not only see his virus spreading but i realize i am a carrier. Burning myself would give them too much satidsfaction so i guess i'll rant and fume and escape jail and the streets as long as i can untill i have my wilderness enclave to hide in. I get bitter when i think of Irvine, CA and the power they wield.

so i just think of my tribe scattered across the globe and hope the antidote we carry spreads as far as the virus. Godspeed Doc and take the revolution with you baby. I got you and believe i will hold it down in Portland ... me and the choir ...

Day ?? - Big Day for team finals

The last two days have been pretty fun, but i have not been able to watch anything. The women's beach volleyball, men's volleyball, water polo, softball, the track and field .. i get it offa blogs or Chinese TV. My ticket magic has run out. I have tix to the US-Cuba baseball semifinal tomorrow, but i am holding out for one more ticket to the B-ball. We'll see.

So far the girls are going toe to toe with Brazil in the soccer final. If it goes to penalties, the US will win.

Spread truth ya'll.

Days 7, 8 and going on 9 ... Sleep Deprived

The last few days I have been running on fumes a bit. And for those of you who have done that, it means alternating between falling asleep while someone talks to you and being unable to shut your mouth at odd hours of the night.

The Chinese look to have the Gold Medal count locked down. I can't imagine the US getting any more than 25 gold medals. I have been trying to analyze why the Chinese team annoys me so much. It is definitely not the athletes. I mean sure people can say the Chinese cheated here and there with the little girls, questionable calls in the B-Ball Games and maybe some unproved allegations of doping and such for the swimmers and weightlifters ... but if you watched Chinese women's tennis and archery, you will notice that extreme focus and skill also play a slight role ...

The crowds are also overwhelmingly Chinese; the nation spent millions and millions training the athletes for these two weeks and in a autocratic-nationalist system like China, you will be able to meet these types of macro-State-Sponsored goals.

I guess its the collective Borg element that gets to me. For real. I am down with the athletes, and any individual i meet and talk to presents just another bond between me and this nation. So all I can think of is the collective "Illusion of China" that annoys me and makes my tummy boil. Not just because I am not Chinese, but because this illusion also dupes, stupifies and homogenizes a vast vast country. Nationalism irks me, not just because it is not my nation, but because it is infectious and causes me to mirror it in myself: nationalism breeds nationalism because it speaks only one language: Borgish.

i hate my dependence on a medal count for happiness. But like i said a while back, One Last Roast over the Spit of China. This is all just spices. I will come out of here with a clearer philosophy.

The scalping business is still going strong and yours truly might actually make it on some TV later ... when it happens i'll set a link. But don't worry, aint nothing gonna happen to me. I don't sell big numbers of tickets and I don't make ridiculous cash. Basically I hustle between contacts and scrape off a little fat in the taxi ...

The news is catching on, but they dont have the scoop. A Dutchie is getting deported today for taking 100 tickets to the stadium and trying to slang em. Fool. He took down about 100 Henan Peasants down with him when the cops got him. Otherwise everyone just turns a blind eye. Its the beauty of international exchange: this one being cash based exchange.

"We all are speaking different languages, but everyone speaks money"

Some great images -- as I am sure you have seen -- were Usain Bolt chillin his way across the line for a World Record and some Gold; Phelps winning his seventh by the fuzz on his fingernail; USA B-Ball stompin on all pretenders; Li Na riding a wave of love to the semifinals in tennis ... taking out Venus along the way; me flirting with the UN of fly women at the Holland House bashes these past few days.

I saw one Dutch girl standing about 6ft 4, fly as hell, built like an Amazon. Really put my skinny Turkish ass in perspective.

Now for the next few days my goal is a basketball ticket and a ticket inside the Bird's Nest. I am not tripping on the Water Cube, it looks more beautiful from outside anyway.

"Can it be done?
"He will join us, or die, my master."

A few days ago i mentioned the terrorism story and how it is underreported, here are a few links that speak on the issue. Here are some Chinese sources: one of them BS, the other more real ...

Here is a good story about the coming crackdown.


HAHA apropos here is a story on being bocogged -- which for the rest of us just means living in China.

Day 6 - The Calm Before the Storm

The second week is just around the corner and I felt the lull today.

Indeed, the preliminaries and qualifying rounds are almost over. The Chinese blitz on the gold medals will have its Dunkirk in a couple days when athletics begins and "their" sports come to a close.

On ticket sales, one noticed a slight rush to get handball ("its impossible to move handball"), field hockey and other national rather than international sports out of the inventory to make way for the wave of popular tickets coming up this weekend and next week.

Adding fuel to the fire is the rumor that 1.5 million more tickets will be released to the "public" in the next coming days to make up for the hard core scalping, VIP reluctance to use or pass out their tickets and the fakes. The IOC has complained that people are looking for tickets but the stands are not full.

Today the Chinese Baby Gymnastics Team beat out the American team for gold. People are reluctant to talk smack about China because their culture of looking away (or at the enhanced images) has infused the Games as much as the Games have taken over Beijing.

There is a bulge in the water hose.

America Strikes Back begins on Friday. How bout Phelps the Phish...he and his homies beat the world record today by 4 seconds.

The Uighers are making a huge gamble in Xinjiang. The Chinese are probably thinking to themselves that this spate of bombings is just a slight pinprick compared to the vicious crackdown that is on its way this Fall. But this is the most underreported story of the Olympics. Xinjiang has not gone off like this since the 1950s and the tactics, discipline and daring of the Uigher ... what shall we call them ... rebels? represent a dedication to a long term bloody war financed and supported by international ... ahem ... Fanatic Islamist Muslim terrorist fighter insurgents rebelling and maiming ...

They have to strike at Beijing or at least try, or all of this is meaningless.

Whoever thinks Iran is the next front doesn't realize that there is no front. Wasn't there some prophecy about the End of Days involving the "West" fighting off the hordes of the East led by the Antichrist. Does it matter to the Final Judge who actually fought and killed whom?

Another thing I have noticed: how the media report Russian aggression in Georgia and America's efforts in Iraq.

Day 5 - I Love China

What a difference a day makes. Today I went and watched the China-Spain B-Ball game and it was off the chains. The big difference between yesterday's tennis and today's hoops was that the Chinese know and love hoops.

The guys in front of me loved Clyde "the Glide" Drexler and the old man in back of me said his favorite player was Dr. J. It was awesome. They booed the Spaniards and did the wave for the entire halftime. When Pao dunked on Yao and swatted away Yi Jian Lian the crowd cheered ... they clapped when the Spaniards did some alley-oops or smooth moves. They love the sport baby.

As for the game, I won't comment too much. It was a great game and China had it, but Pao did his thang in the end and Yao fouled out ... When Yao went, no one stepped to the plate. I like Liu Wei, he played awesome and he has a great heart. And that kid for Spain Nunio, the lil Thief ... dude had like 10 steals, but i think only 6 counted cause of fouls.

My floor is covered in cash and tickets. Kinda reminds me of the old days ... I have always loved the petty hustle. Its street level down low capitalism and its raw and i'm lovin it. Today I hustled my way into some serious cheddar and it feels good. I met an old Cuban today and we haggled to a standstill. He told me that the Olympics are always like this: scalpers on the streets, trades and back alley deals between sponsors, embassies and athletes' families ... its the whole point of this thing. You know Spartans and Thebians were placing mad bets back in the day ... talkin bout who was gonna win then trading tickets for each others' favorites ...

Peep the Chinese gymnasts ... they are out of control. I read a story in the times that said, On paper, the other nations had no chance before they even rolled in ... due to the vast difference in difficulty that the Chinese take upon themselves.

The Uighers are killin pigs in Xinjiang left and right. More than 20 police dead in one week and as many wounded. They are using suicide bomber techniques and going toe to toe with the security like never before. It seems clear that the group that claimed responsibility for the Kunming Bombings in a video, the Islamic Party of East Turkestan, has learned some techniques from Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq. So far all of the major violence has been far from Beijing, but there are still ten days left.

The security is blanket, but not necessarily tight. So anyone in Beijing reading this be careful and keep aware ...

I hear the Chinese used some special effects for the TV broadcast of the Opening Ceremonies, sounds like something they'd do, but it don't matter:

Check out these beautiful pictures.

Day 4 - Chaos and Order

Welcome to China ya'll.

Today started off fine, I woke up and went and did some gong fu with my man Shifu Li Chuan cuz he's back in town and we showed Yves and a few of his Dutch partners some moves. While chillin with Yves in his apt later, I realized I did not have my passport on me. I became frantic. Big Big Issues if I lose my passport ... for the next two hours I am tripping. I go to my house, it aint there. I call the cabbie, it aint there. I go back to Yves' spot, it aint there. Search the gong fu spot, have the hotel people check the cameras .. TRIPPIN thinkin about the moneyloss, pain and torture I am going to have to experience real soon.

I say a prayer to the Lord. The girl at the counter says: yo call the cabbie again cuz sometimes they dont look hard enough. Eureka. I thank the Lord.

I then head to the Silk and Pearl Market to hustle some tickets. I sell some handball, buy some water polo, sell some ping pong, trade for some athletics and then I run into the Cockney Brits and we make a deal for 1500US. The deal falls through. No more Cockney&Chach ....

Then i go and pick up Anna and we go to watch some tennis. Its the bomb, we roll up just in time to see Venus dispatch some Swiss girl and then Novak Djokovic (World #3) shows up and plays Robby Genepri. Anna drools over Robby, Novak whips his ass, I take pictures for Anna and holler into the crowd. All the smurfs try and shush me but I only get louder.

These Olympics are for Chinese only by the way. Just in case you thought this was international because your TV station says so, hahaha NO.

There are armies of FREE little students running around acting like robot-people speaking some cute English helping all the laowai out, but its just cuz thats what the cute, free, robotic students are there for. In the end i trip over them heading through the gate as they stutter about some rule that says if i leave the stadium, i can only return on odd periods of the match ... i'm like dude thats for the gray skies that hover above, not me and this here tennis match ... i make it through cuz i can talk fast and their just students.

You know, the stands are filled with 90% Chinese while foreigners are on the streets scalping tickets and trading left and right. Nothing is labeled, buses are a pain in the ass, there are no schedules handy blah blah .. its a mess. Transportation is funky and the top-down dictatorship of the "proletariat" means that these little robot-students have a firm grip on their personalities. They follow rules so damn well its infuriating. The rules aint logical to us Westerners, but that dont matter, cuz these Olympics are for Chinese only.

No huge crowds of foreigners descending on spots, no crazy Brazilian mobs dancing naked with pale, drunk Brits. None of this. Just a sea of Chinese swirling around clumps of Others.

When Venus and Novak played, the crowds were silent and waited bored for the last match which was Li Na (Chinese) against Svetlana Longlastname from Russia. Then they came alive doing the Borg-like chant of "Li Na Jia You!" (Li Na Add Oil!). Even the little girls were doing it and even though a little girl doing anything is pretty cute, this was a bit creepy.

I wonder if all the Games are like this: the host country basically dominating everything (not necessarily Games and medals, but environment, chants, stands etc.)

It can be creepy listening to everybody do a chant over and over again, but the cute little robot volunteers are really cute. As we left the stadium, they lined up like Mascots from Disneyland and waved us good bye enthusiastically. They are lovely kids no question, just a little weird. They seem so Borgish ...And it really hits me now that i see how everybody else in the world acts ... East Asians are very weird to us man. so collective in what they do ...

Its like Half-Life the video game. A 30-something woman's voice constantly repeats slogans, exhortations, info, and commands via a recorded loudspeaker in Chinese and English. Her echoing voice piercing the air reminds me of phrases like "thought control," "you will be happy" and "nothing can stop us!"

On the way home I met a girl who was asking me about safety in the US, American views of China, my thoughts on China's development etc. I call this THE CONVERSATION. I have had it probably close to 100,000 times, most likely much more, but i dont want to get ridiculous with the zeros.

However silly some rules might be, creepy some chants might be, annoying some draconian measures might be, in the end it doesn't matter cuz this aint our home. Thats what i told this girl, i said you should stop caring what other people think so much, might make life easier and you less of a SUPERDORK-ROBOT-PHRASE-SPITTER.

She smiled with indulgence at my ignorant hairy ass and said, we chinese are so much better off, we are so happy and we think it has been such a great change, what do you think? Oh, by the way, can you walk out of your door at night safely?

Sigh. "yeah most of the time. have you asked Papa Party if yer allowed to poo today yet?" I didnt say that.

Its a crazy mess, the Jia You chants are getting old already but somehow the Games slurch on forward. I am going to China Spain B-Ball tomorrow and USA-Nigeria soccer the day after. Got some boxing and stuff coming ....

Cuz in the end, me yelling out when the crowd is silent is what its all about ... And of course, good fun watching good sports up close

Day 3 - Dank and Dreary ... USA whoops China in B-Ball

Today I saw a one armed Cockney Englishman marching through the crowds around the water cube trying to sell swimming tix for 2000k US. The hustle continues ... I'm getting deeper into the tix biz and its fun.

Today it was hazy and dark all day and then it started to rain at about 4pm and still hasn't stopped. I sloshed through the Agricultural Exhibition Center grounds where the Holland House is and my shoes squeaked as i walked. The Dutch beauties want me to get them into the Budweiser House pool for late night skinny dipping. Lord have mercy.

I broke away early after opening the secret back gate for the Dutch Prime Minister, just in time to watch the Second Half of the China - USA B-Ball game. Thank God it was an ass-whooping. The team is playing great and I think it'll be gold this year. As it should be.

But yo, keep yer eyes on the US Men's Soccer team. They had Japan and Holland on the ropes and they both barely got away for a tie.

As for the terrorists, they have been blowing stuff up and killing people in Xinjiang and people here are starting to ask a few questions. I am amazed at how many people here do not have their passports with them or do not carry any ID at all. They also seem pretty uninformed about China and Chinese political BS in general ... even with the media blitz all year.

I will be serving champagne in a bow tie when the Dutch girls go swimming.

Day 2 - The Hustleman

Yeah its always the same wherever I go. i become Red from the Shawshank Redemption. I am now in the ticket business and it is quite fruitful. I will be able to see beach volleyball, tennis, baseball, some basketball (no USA yet) and some girls field hockey.

Ya'll need tickets? holla at me. Ya'll got tickets? holla at me.

I got these tickets "free" through various deals with the Dutch at the Holland House, the Americans over at Budweiser and this salty English gangsta-hustla who was hanging with his boys outside of the Bird's Nest.

"This bounty hunter is my kind of scum."

So its all good. I work like a slave every day though, but its a lot of fun. I get along great with everybody at the Holland House (heineken sponsored it so its a big party house -- google the site, too tired to find the link) and i have become quite indispensable as the one of the few that can speak a few languages fluently.

The Opening Ceremony was amazing and it really gave us all here in Beijing a new and fresh perspective in the Games. I know now that they are sacred and beautiful and should be treated as such. Now the spirit of the Games may be a sacred force, but being human, we do our best to sully it with our slimy devlishness ...

Such as all the hustlin I been doing: massages, cars, tickets, clothes etc etc if i were full time hustlin and not working as a smurf with skills for the Dutch, I would be having one hell of a time and makin bank. I will try, from now on, to squeeze them both in. I have just begun to see the possibilities. Means I can't sleep though. Like ever. three weeks non-stop ... word is bond.

Last night i walked to Tiananmen Square and met my people Zachary Mexico, Li Du, Anna the Persian Princess and Mr. Yunnan Jeff Crosby. We were raucous and loud and the Chinese gathered around us and took pictures. Every five minutes, companies of PLA soldiers would march by.

Its actually pretty funny, the ostentatious show of security belying the shy nervous looks on these young boys' faces as they march past, staring at the head in front of them. I could walk up to a formation and throw a grenade in their midst. Instead i keep pace and beatbox to their rhythm.

We ended the night with hot pot and smokes. Anna took a great picture of me wrapped in a Chinese flag under some red lanterns smirkin. But then she erased it accidentally. thats right. erased it. (She has two Ivy League degrees ...)

At the Heineken House I have noticed a great many fly Dutch girls ...

East Asians are pretty funny with their displays of emotion. They do the mass chant and maybe a peace sign. Bang plastic stuff together. They sure aint Brazilian. I have noticed the Chinese staring in wonder at the supporters from around the world dancing, screaming, wearing strange costumes and painting their whole bodies in national colors. China wanted the Olympics so bad, now they have em.

Its still an international party though ... thats the whole point. The Budweiser Party tonight was FILLED with Chinese "princes," overseas Chinese ballers and Chinese from Taipei, HK, S'pore etc bringin their Mainland sweeties ...

They drifted in and out of the Holland House and vice versa. Brits, Aussies, Kiwis, Germans, French, Irish, Italians, Greeks, Russians, Tanzanians, Malaysians, Japanese, Syrians ... Its just a matter of time 'fore everyone gets naked.